The internet is buzzing like it usuallly does when a big ol’ “scandal” happens.
I’m always more interested in the parasocial relationship fallout.
You see, Ethan Klein cheated on his wife. And before this week, I barely knew who Ethan Klein was. I knew he was a pretty popular Youtuber and he had a big following. Just like I know there’s a guy named Mr. Beast who does, too. I’ve never watched the videos as I’m more interested in learning things like history, how-to’s, and legal stuff that I wouldn’t otherwise know. But I’m a sucker for some good drama. But moreso in how it happened and not who it happened to.
Like, why do we care so much that Ethan Klein cheated on his wife? He’s a guy just like any other guy who saw a pretty girl and decided to stray. So what? It’s not like this hasn’t happened before. Why are we, the public, so emotionally invested in some random dude in LA who stepped out on his marriage? When I first heard the news that some major social media guru cheated on his wife, I was like, “Okay. And it’s Tuesday. Why do we care?”
But, quite literally, people are going crazy. The internet is flooded with memes and commentary and I love it all. Not that I love downfalls. I love rises as well. But I’m so interested in how we got here. Moreover, why the heck do we care so much about someone else’s marriage falling apart?
The thing about Ethan Klein is he had five things which made this the internet sensation that has befallen anyone with social media access. One, he is famous with a lot of followers who has been online for most of their lives. Super-fans if you will. And he was their fearless leader who was willing to say in public all the things they wanted. But now he’s someone who stepped down when things got really hard. Two, he considered himself a moral authority and as such, called out other men for cheating on their wives. Now, he is nothing more than a hypocrite. Three, he talked all the time, or at least from the small amount of clips I saw, about how he loved his wife and would never cheat on her. Now he’s a liar. Four, he had some pretty controversial takes on a lot of political and social issues, including a number of lawsuits, which made him a polarizing figure. Now those critics of his political and social issues can point to him in a concrete way and say he’’s a lying liar who lies. And, five, he shared large parts of his life online in the form of hours long podcasts. Now people are dissecting those very clips to point out the moment his moral highground crumbled into dust.
The problem is when you’re a rich and famous person, who has a large following of loyal fans (I heard he called them foot soldiers, kinda weird but whatever), you become almost god-like to them. I’ve seen more than one of his stans call out anyone who dare speak ill of their great Ethan Klein. And when that happens, when you pretty much tell your audience that your opinion is one of the only ones that matter, when you fall, you fall pretty hard and pretty fast.
An added layer to this mess is the intern the internet has dubbed the woman who made a controversial podcast fail in six months. Speculation is she’s the one he’s cheating with and I have to say, the evidence is incriminating. Some people have beatified this woman as Ethan is such a controversial person. Some people have made her into this demonic harlot who should be thrown out of society for the rest of her natural life. Some have said that she’s Ethan’s soulmate and if he would cheat on his wife for her, it must be true love. Whatever you want to call it, in the end, it’s good old fashioned betrayal from those closest to you. The call is coming from inside the house.
The problem is when you share your life online as the brand, that life is no longer yours. When you build up a following, any following, and become the voice of those people, they identify with you in a way they think they know you personally, a parasocial relationship. Ethan wasn’t some random dude to the foot soldiers and critics. He held himself out to be above them in a cultish way. “Watch my podcasts for hours as I tell you all the things I think about everything and either agree with me or say nothing. Because if you say anything, my foot soldiers will come after you because they are my loyal following.” They would because Ethan was their leader.
I’m sure the foot soldiers out there felt they were a part of a super special group of people. They wanted to belong to something bigger than themselves. They stood up for him through thick and thin. They called themselves foot soldiers for crying outloud. For them, it was more than a podcast. It was a large following of people like themselves who thought like themselves filled with inside jokes, thoughts, and behaviors. They even had a clothing line so they could dress like each other. Ethan was at the helm and he insinuated that he’d never steer them wrong. He wasn’t just a podcast host. He was the moral authority. He wasn’t just right about a lot of things. He was right. Period.
And when their moral authority fails, it’s a moment of wondering if everything they had believed for years was a lie. Was the vary foundation of their own identity nothing more than duct tape and super glue? I’ve read people writing they watched everything, every single thing, Ethan has uploaded for over ten years. Every clip. Every episode. Every podcast. Bought clothing so they could readily identify themselves. They were the “real fans.” He was the wizard. They were the munchkins. And they all lived happily in Oz.
Then the curtain was pulled back. And the one to do it was his loyal and very beautiful wife. And the wicked witch in this story was his intern. Then the green glasses came off and they saw that Oz was nothing more than broken concrete and dingy windows.
The critics of Ethan have their own story in this mess. They can now officially point to this one instance as a way of saying, “See? He was a piece of sh*t this whole time. We’ve been telling you he’s one for years. And now you believe us! Because he’s such a piece of sh*t that he burned his whole house down for what? An intern that looks like him!” They have their own vocabulary. They have their own groups and words and ways of identifying themselves. And now they have the moral highground. Not the foot soldiers.
The issue isn’t Ethan. It’s not his wife. It’s not the intern. It’s that everyone wants to be a part of something even if there’s contrary evidence to the other side.
I’m sure the critics have their own parasocial people. The people they follow and make excuses for. Who will inevitably fail and fail hard. They, too, will see the emperor has no clothes.
If you’re unfamiliar with the emperor with no clothes, it’s a tale as old as time. An emperor, a very vain man who had to have the best of everything, gets in touch with a tailor who says he can make the most beautiful clothing in the world. No clothing is like the clothing this tailor makes. And when the emperor gives him a lot of money, he comes with clothing so fine, so light, so airy it’s like the emperor is wearing nothing. He makes the emoperor take off his clothes and puts it on. Everyone around the emperor talks about how wonderful the clothing is. The clothing is so delicate and beautiful it’s completely see-through. The emperor parades himself throughout the land until one brave little boy points at the emperor and says, “But he doesn’t have ANY clothes on!”
That’s what this story is about, which is hilarious because speculation is when Ethan got news his wife was going public with the affair, he was doing some bit about thrift store clothings and was nearly naked.
The H3H3 stans surrounded a naked emperor and the critics were the brave little boy. Next week, there will be a new emperor and critics will be brave little boys again. And the cycle will repeat until the end of time.
The story is old. But it’s nonetheless entertaining when it happens.
Anyway, this is what I read this week:
Books I read this week
This Story Might Save Your Life by Tiffany Crum. Benny and Joy are two podcasters who are besties. Their podcast is about situations where survival is hazy and how to survive them. Joy is married to Xander who is their manager. They have millions of followers and the pair are the friends you always want to be besties with. There’s a storm one day and Benny goes to Joy and Xander’s house to do the podcast. Only Xander and Joy aren’t there. He calls in a missing person alert to the police station. Cue a bunch of flashbacks and flashforwards and flashing and a love triangle. It’s good. I wouldn’t read it again. But I liked it for what it was. A cute, fun read. ****
The Assassin’s Blade by Sarah J Maas. There’s a teenager who was brought up as an assassin. She kills a bunch of people. A bunch of people try to kill her. There’s Sam, an enemy to friend to lover situation. There’s a leader who is a bad guy or maybe not a bad guy. She doesn’t seem to listen to people. Like, there’s a bunch of moments someone she’s fighting tries to tell her something and she doesn’t listen. Which clocks because she’s a teenager. It’s a bunch of stories into one which is whatever. Forgetable for anyone over 16. ***
As You Wish by Cary Elwes. Okay, I have to admit, the Princess Bride is an all-time favorite movie of mine. I love that movie so much! It’s a Catholic kid’s childhood wrapped in one movie. I quote it all the time. Everyone I know who grew up in the 80s watched this movie. And this book goes into explaining with all the cast what it was like making it. It wasn’t so much of pulling the curtain off as it was a heartwarming book about the making and subsequent popularity of a movie so many people adore. I loved it was read by Cary with cameos from other characters, producers, and directors. It is delightful. Definitely a feel-good read for anyone who loves the movie. *****
How the Word Was Passed by Clint Smith. This book is an uncomfortable yet such an important read for any person in the United States. It walks the reader through plantations and slave ownership of African Americans and how the country was shaped by them and how we, as the majority, try to silence them and ignore an entire part of our history that founded a country. It goes from the south to the north and what happened every step of the way. It made me both uncomfortable and understanding. It’s like healthy food. Hard to digest at times but so good for the body and soul. It hurt. It made me tear up. And it gave me hope that stories are now being told that were silenced for centuries. *****
Things I bought I loved
I went to a sauna on Saturday and then again on Tuesday. I want to go back on Monday. It’s kind of become an addiction. I love sitting in a hot place and just thinking. And sweating. Then going into a cold shower. I thought it sounded like torture until I did it. Now I did and I’m going back and back and back. 10/10 would recommend.
